Two Of You Got In
Plays in the dock at the bottom of the page, so it keeps going while you read on.
Lyrics
(supersaw trance lead carries the chorus melody, no voices yet)
New table! Looks clean!
Key is fine! Build is green!
Every test! Passed!
Nothing screamed! Nothing crashed!
Added a column! Last spring!
Left the rule! Behind!
Row still knows! Its number!
Row forgot! Its name!
The key knows WHERE you are
it doesn't know WHO you are!
Two of you got in the door
and nobody said a word!
Say it out loud or it isn't a rule!
Say it out loud or it isn't true!
One of you is real
and I can't tell which is you!
Two systems! One guy!
Different spelling! Both arrive!
Nothing checks! Nothing blocks!
In he goes! Twice!
Report says! Double!
Dashboard says! Double!
Downstream flips! A coin!
Picks a row! At random!
The key knows WHERE you are
it doesn't know WHO you are!
Two of you got in the door
and nobody said a word!
Say it out loud or it isn't a rule!
Say it out loud or it isn't true!
One of you is real
and I can't tell which is you!
Adding a column feels like nothing.
Adding a column moved the line.
Nothing broke on Monday —
it just quietly stopped knowing.
Somebody asked. Somebody fixed it.
Took a minute. Took no pride.
(gang shout) SAY! WHAT! THE SAME THING! IS!
The key knows where you are —
say it out loud or it isn't true!
Two of you got in!
Two of you got in!
Say what the same thing is!
The band
Force Push
Screamed verses, a rave synth, a metalcore breakdown and an enormous clean chorus the whole band shouts along with. Ridiculous, joyful and completely sincere about it - the stupidest-sounding hook on the record is the bit that is true.
None of these bands are real. Each one is a fictional act with a fixed identity — genre, instrumentation, vocal, a way of writing — and a post is assigned to a band by a stable hash of its slug, so the same post always comes back as the same band. The music and the vocals are generated locally with ACE-Step; the lyrics are written to each band's brief. No musicians, no recordings, no one to credit.
Where the words came from
The lyrics were written from the post A Surrogate Key Is Not An Identity Rule.
A generated primary key tells a database how to find a row, but only an explicit unique constraint tells it what makes two rows the same thing, and that constraint needs deliberate upkeep every time a table changes shape.
More by Force Push
- Prose Is Not A Promise 3:31
- Not My Call 4:23
- Show Me The Trail 3:02
- Five Minutes Or It Dies 4:47